Shattered Hearts
by Jessica237
Summary: EC. Because in essence, that was what she'd done. She'd broken not only Eric's heart, but her own as well.


**E/C angst is just so fun...don't you agree? Heh. Nothing you recognize is mine. **

* * *

Eric Delko was in no mood for company. 

It had been barely ten minutes since he'd made it home from work. These days, even he was no stranger to making it home long after the sun had set. Cases never seemed to get any easier; on the contrary, they just seemed to get more complicated, and the really disturbing part was that they always seemed to parallel his personal life.

When life was good, work was a breeze. But he could never catch a break from work if his own personal life was in turmoil. And his personal life had been in turmoil for the greater part of the past few years. And with no visible end in sight, Eric had resigned himself to that. No longer could he rely on clubbing or casual girlfriends to lift his spirits, and no longer could he find happiness in the single life. Now, he wanted more.

But the only thing he really wanted…as soon as he got his hands on it, it always spiraled quickly out of his grasp. It was so unfair.

Tonight, he didn't want to think about the unfairness of his life, or the difficult case he'd finally closed. And he certainly didn't want to play host for a late evening visitor, so when his doorbell rang just as Eric had begun heading down the hall to his bedroom, he couldn't help but curse lightly under his breath.

The last thing he wanted to do was answer the door. It was far past the time for anybody to stop by for a casual visit, and after the long day he'd had, Eric wasn't in any mood to see anybody. Tonight, Eric was ready to do nothing more than fall into bed, despite knowing that it would be another restless night for him. He hadn't slept well in his bed since…

Three sharp knocks on the door broke into his mind, pulling him blessedly away from that train of thought. He didn't want to remember why he couldn't sleep. It was much easier on him and his heart to simply attribute it to insomnia, or to too much stress at work. Denial was always less painful than the truth.

He wasn't exactly sure what made him answer the door; all he knew was that all of a sudden, his feet were leading him in that direction and his hand was lifting to turn on the light in the foyer. Before he knew it, that hand was unlocking and opening the door.

As soon as his late evening visitor was revealed, Eric's heart leapt into his throat. Upon his doorstep stood the beautiful Calleigh Duquesne, looking just as confident as always, but at the same time there was a bit of shyness about her. It was all Eric could do to keep his mouth from falling open. Not only was he deeply surprised to see her there, but as always, she looked so beautiful, even though she had obviously come straight from work – Eric hadn't been the only one with a late shift tonight.

It took him a moment, but eventually Eric found his voice, hoarse though it sounded. "Calleigh," he murmured, his mouth suddenly dry. She shifted slightly on the step before him, and Eric's gaze drifted predictably to her gorgeous blonde locks. They captured the glow of the full moon overhead perfectly, making her look more like an angel than she already did.

Discreetly she reached up, brushing a lock of blonde behind her ear, a movement Eric knew to be one of her nervous habits. "Hey, Eric," she replied quietly, her teeth tugging lightly at her bottom lip. She felt his intent gaze on her, and while it made her slightly uncomfortable, Calleigh couldn't deny that she absolutely loved it. She loved the appreciative sparkle that adorned his eyes whenever he looked at her. Just by looking at her, he always made her feel so beautiful.

Sometimes, she wished he wouldn't look at her quite like that. It would be so much easier to walk away from him if he didn't make her feel so wanted, so loved.

Forcing those thoughts from her mind, Calleigh brought a small smile to her face as she sheepishly glanced down at the steps. "I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice carrying just the slightest tinge of amusement. "I know it's late…"

Eric shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he said sincerely, watching her every move oh so carefully. He could read her like a book, but that still gave him no indication of why she was here. "Can I ask what brings you here, though?"

He could see the tint forming in her cheeks before the words ever even left her mouth. "I, uh, I left my sweater here, the other night," she explained sheepishly, chuckling softly. "You know, the light green one?" She looked so adorable standing before him like that, so small. All Eric wanted was to wrap her in his arms and keep her there forever.

He remembered, all right, even though what he remembered _wasn't_ that she'd been wearing it. Shaking the memory from his head before it could really take hold, Eric stepped back, beckoning her inside. "Oh yeah. Come on in and I'll get it for you."

Calleigh hesitated. "Eric…"

Eric knew exactly why she was so bothered. He also knew that, before the other night, Calleigh never would've hesitated. She would've come on in before he'd even asked. He hated that one night could make everything so awkward between them, but on the other hand, Eric knew he wouldn't change anything that had happened between them.

And, while her words and her body language said otherwise, Eric could see in Calleigh's eyes that she felt the same, deep inside.

She knew that it was a mistake, looking up into those gorgeous, dark brown eyes. They were always so warm, so inviting, and Calleigh couldn't help but melt every time she lost herself in those eyes. She knew she really shouldn't go inside, but her feet were carrying her over the threshold, leading her into his kitchen before she could protest.

As soon as she'd taken the first step inside, his scent had immediately washed over her, reminding Calleigh once more why this was such a bad idea. She'd become addicted to his scent; it made her knees weaken and her heart flutter. And being in his home, being surrounding so completely by that scent…there were no words to describe how it made her feel.

This was ridiculous. There was absolutely no reason for Calleigh to be here tonight. She could've called Eric, and he could've brought her sweater to her at work. Or, she could've just forgotten about it; after all, it was Miami, and even though it was just a light sweater, it had still been a little warm for her. But the bottom line was that there was no reason for Calleigh to be standing in Eric's kitchen at ten-thirty at night.

But of course there was a reason.

If she were being honest with herself, Calleigh really didn't care one way or the other about that sweater. It had been something she'd grabbed out of her closet that morning, when she'd overslept and had to hurry. She honestly didn't care if she ever saw it again.

So, if she hadn't come for the sweater, then why was she there?

It was simple, really. The reason why Calleigh had shown up on Eric's doorstep at ten-thirty at night was because she had wanted to see Eric.

That wasn't something she would let herself admit, though. But as fate would have it, she remembered that she had left her sweater at Eric's in her haste to leave early that morning. It was the perfect excuse to go over there, to see him.

And now, here she was in his kitchen, every scent and low light in his home assaulting her, reminding her of every exquisite feeling she'd felt that night.

"Do you want something to drink?" Eric asked, breaking the silence, wanting to stall for as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to go get her sweater. He didn't want her to thank him and leave.

Calleigh shook her head. "No thanks," she murmured, once more tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I really just need to get my sweater and go home." Even to her own ears, the reasons sounded ridiculous.

Slightly defeated, Eric nodded. When Calleigh's mind was set, changing it was nearly impossible. "I'll be right back, then," he said quietly, making a hasty retreat from the awkwardness that had fallen over his kitchen.

Left alone to wait, Calleigh lifted herself onto the counter, granting a much needed rest to her slightly weakened knees. Now that she was alone, she could finally exhale; she could finally take a brief break from keeping her walls so high around her. It was exhausting, keeping so many barriers between herself and Eric, but she couldn't afford to let them down around him. When her walls came down, she couldn't help but let him in. And even though she wanted that so badly, she just…she just couldn't.

But as she relaxed for the moment, Calleigh couldn't stop the flood of memories that crashed over her. She'd spent so long ignoring them, pushing them away. But now, back at Eric's place, so deeply affected by everything about him…Calleigh just couldn't keep the memories hidden beneath the surface.

--

_She'd been lost as soon as his lips had touched her own for the first time. Lost in a world of sensation, of need. Why he'd kissed her…now that wasn't important. The important thing was to make sure his lips didn't leave hers anytime soon. It completely short-circuited her mind, the way he kissed her; her mind had gone dark, and Calleigh knew that she was acting completely on feeling, completely on the impulses of her heart instead of her mind._

_So lost was she that she gave a soft whimper of surprise as she felt her back gently hit the wall. The next thing she knew, Eric's fingers were toying with the hem of her sweater, and he was breaking the kiss in favor of gazing down at breathless Calleigh, her lips swollen from the kiss. Looking directly into her eyes, Eric clutched the fabric in his grasp, conveying his every intent to her, giving her every opportunity to stop this before it went too far for her._

_But to Eric's delight, she didn't. Breathing deeply, Calleigh gave an almost imperceptible nod, letting him know that she wanted this. Her mind still silenced, there was no way she was going to stop him._

_Eric stole one more quick kiss before making quick work of her sweater. He tugged at the light green fabric, pulling it up and over her head and tossing it carelessly away, chuckling as it left behind traces of static electricity in her hair. "That's sexy," he teased, his skilled fingers smoothing down the flyaway strands. Calleigh's mind went through every snappy retort that she could've made, but as soon as Eric moved closer, his lips closing over her earlobe, her mind ceased to function and all that could even make it to her lips was a quiet moan._

_Instead she lifted her own hands to pull at Eric's shirt. Even though she loved its tightness; even though she loved how it showed off every muscle that he had, right now she just wanted it off of him. She wanted to feel those muscles for herself; she wanted to feel them rippling beneath her touch._

_He might've thought he was in charge when he'd pushed her against the wall, but Calleigh claimed the upper hand as her lips brushed over his bare chest. He breathed in sharply, Calleigh's name leaving his lips as he exhaled. Calleigh looked up at him, smiling at the look of bliss on his face. His eyes were closed, his lips parted, and all she'd done was press a gentle kiss to his chest. She couldn't stop the surge of womanly pride that surged through her as she realized what just one simple motion could do to him._

_And then his eyes came open. His eyes were always dark, always deep; they always begged Calleigh to get lost within them. But as he gazed down at her, Calleigh felt a tingle rush through every inch of her body. Darkened by lust, his eyes called out to her all that much more, and it was almost overwhelming, the truth that was evidenced within them – Eric wanted her._

_And Calleigh wanted him. Tantalizingly she trailed her hands up over his chest, over his shoulders and to the back of his neck before pulling him back down to her, their lips coming together quickly, passionately. A wave of sensation washed over her, magnifying every feeling she felt by at least a hundred. She couldn't think; her entire body was consumed by the feel of Eric's lips moving against hers, of her body being trapped between the wall and Eric's body, of his hands as they skimmed over her hips before gripping the fabric of her top; her top which, like the sweater she'd worn over it, was soon pulled up and over her head in a matter of seconds._

_For the first time, Calleigh was hit with the feeling of bare skin against bare skin. His muscled abs against her taut stomach. It started a delicious fluttering within her, a fluttering that only emphasized how badly she needed him._

_One by one, the remaining articles of clothing separating their bodies were shed, each one laying forgotten on the ground. And if the feel of their bare abdomens touching was amazing, then there was no word to describe how it felt to have his entire body against hers, separated by nothing._

_A soft moan escaped her lips as Eric buried his hands in her hair, his lips closing over the junction between her neck and her shoulder. Resting her head against the wall, Calleigh struggled to catch her breath; this was so intense, and they were just getting started. "God, Eric," she murmured, eliciting a low chuckle from him, a chuckle that tickled her skin, driving her even farther out of her mind._

_The next thing she knew, they were finally in his bedroom, and Eric was laying her ever so gently onto his bed. It got to him in a way he'd never thought possible, how perfect she looked there in his bed, her hair splayed out over his pillows, her beautiful green eyes gazing expectantly up at him. There was no denying it; she belonged there._

_Ever softly, Eric cupped her face, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. "So beautiful," he murmured, and Calleigh felt a deep flush spread over her entire body. She opened her mouth, but found that no words would come to her. Eric had finally succeeded at making her speechless. Realizing she would have to convey her emotions another way, she slowly propped herself up, pressing a soft, sensual kiss to Eric's lips before pulling him back down with her._

_It was so exquisite, the feel of her body trapped between the softness of the bed beneath her and the hard, muscular body above her. Wherever his fingertips touched, Calleigh discovered that his lips would quickly follow, turning her into a squirming mess beneath him. Nobody else had ever made her feel like this before; it was almost as though Eric already knew every last secret about her body. He knew just where to touch to make her sigh, where to kiss to make her shiver, where to lightly nibble to make her whimper...somehow he knew it all._

_Calleigh wanted desperately to touch him, to make him feel half of what he was doing to her, but every time she tried, he would swat her hands away, before punishing her with a gentle, teasing nip at whatever part of her body his lips happened to be exploring at the time. He rained kisses over her entire body, his lips trailing agonizingly slowly over the parts of her that made her quiver the most or even cry out his name. It was such a beautiful sound, his name falling from her lips like that; why shouldn't he try to pull it from her as many times as he could?_

_And so he did. It was the most tantalizing torment; Eric knew exactly how to drive her straight to the edge, and then hold her back, preventing her from taking that final plunge. Just when she thought she couldn't take any more, he would prove her wrong again, taking her just that much further. She had never been with anybody so intent on driving her so out of her mind with pleasure, with lust._

_His fingertips ghosted over the top of her thigh, sending shivers radiating throughout her body. He had worked her up so much that even the lightest touches seemed so intense to her overly sensitized skin. Letting out a deep breath, Calleigh searched for her voice, but all she found was enough for a soft plea. "Eric…please…"_

_That was all he needed. Pressing a single kiss to her hip, Eric traced his lips back upward, lingering slightly in the places that had made her shiver and whimper before. Calleigh's control nearly escaped her as Eric's lips sucked gently at her collarbone. Rather than clasp his cheeks and direct his lips to hers, she wrapped her arms around him, raking her nails over his back, feeling the muscles ripple beneath her fingertips._

_Eric couldn't help but smirk slightly as he trailed kisses closer and closer to her lips. This was the same calm, controlled Calleigh that he worked with in the lab every single day. And now she was just barely hanging by a thread; nearly every last bit of that control was gone, and Eric loved it. She was squirming deliciously beneath him, her chest rising and falling as she panted erratically, trying to catch her breath. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and he couldn't help feeling a bit smug as he realized that he was the one making her like this. Eric was the one having this effect on her._

_Her beautiful green eyes carried a slightly dazed look, which Eric could see perfectly even though her eyes were half-closed. His name fell in quiet whispers from her lips, and he could feel the strength in her arms as she looped them around his neck, desperate to bring their lips together once more._

_And this time, Eric was happy to oblige. Murmuring her name softly, he stroked her hair, relishing in the way she leaned into his touch. Their eyes met, and finally Eric lowered his head, giving her what they both wanted. Her lips parted happily for him as he finally covered her mouth with his. Deeply he kissed her, her nails scratching at the back of his neck nearly his undoing. Unable to stop himself, Eric gave a low growl as Calleigh nipped at his lower lip, his own control failing him completely when she giggled and did it again. "God, I want you," he murmured against her lips, his fingers still not ceasing their exploration of her body._

_Calleigh's eyes fluttered closed once more as Eric teased her with his fingertips, a deep shiver overtaking her body. She bit at her lip coyly, and as her eyes opened, Eric saw a shade of green that he'd never in his life seen before. So deep, that shade of green, complete with the sparkle that Eric had fallen in love with long ago. He still couldn't process it in his mind, the fact that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her._

_He knew he'd never forget the way she gasped softly, her body trembling beneath him as they slowly became one. It took his breath away; this was the woman he'd been in love with for so long, and she was finally with him, here in his arms, his bed._

_His wildest dreams, his most exquisite fantasies – none of them could compare to how it felt right now to be with her; to be making love to Calleigh Duquesne. And that was what it was, love. After tonight, it would tear him apart not to be with her. Eric could only hope that she would feel the same, because the moment she allowed her mind to rule her heart would be the moment he lost her._

_He held her tightly afterward, her body snuggled against his, her head on his chest as they both caught their breath. The fit was nothing less than absolutely perfect; it was almost as though she were made to fit in his arms. Eric loved the feel of her soft hair against his skin; he loved the lazy way her fingers drew random shapes over his chest. There was nothing about this woman that he didn't love._

_Calleigh never wanted to move from that spot, wrapped tightly in his arms as they lay in his bed. So at home she felt there, so warm, so cozy. Her elation bubbled over as she felt Eric so tenderly press a kiss into her blonde locks. Feeling the most pronounced feeling of safety she had ever felt, Calleigh allowed the soft rise and fall of Eric's chest to lull her into what might've been the most blissful sleep of her life._

--

But the morning after, the light of the sun had awoken a new feeling in Calleigh – fear. But then again, it wasn't exactly new; it was the feeling that had kept her from letting herself fall for Eric all along. Or so she thought; fear of the unknown hadn't stopped her from falling for Eric, it had merely made it easier for her to ignore it.

She was in love with him, but she _couldn't_ be in love with him.

She wanted to be with him more than anything, but she _couldn't_ be with him.

There were just too many reasons why she couldn't do this, and all of those reasons had come back to haunt her in the harsh light of morning. She'd panicked, and she'd done the only thing that'd made sense at the time – she'd run. Hastily she'd dressed, forgetting completely about her sweater, and even if she had, she probably wouldn't have stopped to look for it. She just needed to get out of there, before her heart had the chance to protest.

Calleigh couldn't, however, leave without saying goodbye, at least in her own way. She had stood by the side of his bed, admiring him as he slept, trying desperately to silence the part of her that wanted to slip back under the covers with him. Ever gently, Calleigh lowered her lips to his forehead, leaving the most feather-light of kisses before she was gone.

The sound of footsteps pulled her back to the present, and Calleigh could only hope the blush in her cheeks wasn't as apparent as she felt it was. Letting out a deep breath, she shifted slightly on the counter, straightening up just as Eric reappeared in the kitchen, gingerly holding her sweater in his hands.

"I, uh, kind of got it mixed in with my laundry," he said with a quiet chuckle. "I hope you don't mind that I washed it."

Calleigh smiled softly. "That's okay," she assured, avoiding the temptation to look into his eyes. She knew that the very moment she did that, it would all be over. Her resolve would crumble, just as it had before. And that wasn't something Calleigh could afford to let happen again.

She wanted desperately to let it happen again, but she _couldn't._ There were just too many reasons why, ranging from the fact that they worked together, to the fact that, deep inside, Calleigh was afraid of letting him too close, and then losing him.

As Eric watched her intently, he knew exactly the thoughts that were crossing her mind. He could see it in her eyes, in her expression, in the way she bit tentatively at her lip. She was so beautiful; even just the sight of her sitting on his counter was enough to take his breath away.

He gave a quiet sigh, laying the sweater down on the counter next to her. "Cal," he murmured, unable to resist tentatively laying his palms over her thighs, knowing from the look in her eyes that she wouldn't push him away, not yet, at least. He didn't miss the subtle tremor that went through her body at that slight yet bold touch.

Calleigh could control her mind, she could pretend to control her heart, but she just could not control the way her body always responded to Eric. She couldn't stop her body from craving more of his touch. Even through the fabric of her jeans, her skin was on fire where Eric's hands rested atop her thighs. His thumbs were tracing the tiniest of circles, and Calleigh couldn't stop the way that simple caress sent her heartbeat into overdrive.

And at that point, it was a greater calling than she could resist. She glanced up, her gaze immediately locking with Eric's eyes, the fire burning within those dark orbs not unlike the fire that currently coursed through her entire body. He disguised nothing; his eyes revealed the entire depth of his feelings for her. He wanted her; he _needed_ her, and that knowledge sent another delicious shiver racing down the length of her spine.

Slowly he came closer to her, his hands sliding tantalizingly along her thighs as he moved. The extra height from the counter brought Calleigh's eyes to the same level as Eric's; her lips to the same level as his lips. He was standing between her knees now, leaving mere inches between their faces, their lips. Eric could feel the warmth of her breath tickling his skin; he could feel just how quickened her breathing had become.

He had taken her out of her comfort zone, once more, and he loved it. Every one of her senses had been sent into overdrive, forcing her to feel _everything._

Of course, his senses were not immune to her power either. The scent of her perfume was intoxicating; something sweet, something vaguely floral, but something so entirely Calleigh that it made Eric's head spin. He wanted every pillow, every blanket and sheet on his bed to be inundated with that scent. He wanted to wake up in the mornings and see her lying beside him, her silky blonde locks fanning out over her pillow. He wanted to wake up with a content smile on his lips, knowing that they'd stayed awake late into the night; kissing, cuddling, making love.

It was such a powerful visual in his mind, and Eric knew he'd give everything he had to make it come true. His hands remained firmly placed upon her thighs, resisting the temptation to caress her face or stroke her hair.

Under the spell of his intense gaze, Calleigh couldn't move; she couldn't make herself look away and break that spell, even if she'd wanted to. Oxygen seemed to elude her, making her dizzy. She felt as though she were falling, and in a way, she was. She'd taken a headfirst tumble off of that cliff a long time ago, and she'd been falling farther and farther for him ever since.

Desperately she sucked in a deep breath, but rather than calm her, it only reinforced just how close Eric was to her; just how good he smelled, just how good she remembered his lips tasted. Her control was slipping more and more, and all she wanted was a blissful repeat of what had happened the other night. Rationally, there remained some part of her that realized that it couldn't happen, not again, but that part of her mind was fading quickly. It too was giving into this want, this need.

With a great deal of effort, Calleigh swallowed, finding her mouth exceedingly dry. So dry, that her voice wouldn't obey when she called for it, and instead of Eric's name leaving her lips in what she'd hoped would be an authoritative, controlled tone, his name left her lips in a breathless murmur. "Eric…"

As if the way she said his name wasn't enough. Up until that moment, Eric had been certain that there existed nothing that could tear his gaze away from her beautiful emerald eyes. But that was before Calleigh's pink tongue slipped from her mouth as she unconsciously moistened her parched lips. That tiny motion snapped Eric's remaining control into pieces. He could no longer stand right in front of her and just gaze into her eyes, as wonderful as that had been. He could no longer stand right in front of her and just touch her.

His deep brown eyes conveyed his every intent to her, just as her beautiful green eyes expressed her knowledge of his intentions, even welcomed them. The motions were simultaneous; as he leaned into her, she moved closer to him. As her eyes fell closed, he allowed his to close as well.

It was tentatively that Eric finally let his lips touch hers, almost afraid she would push him away. But Calleigh, lost in her own world of sensation, didn't push him away. Tilting her head ever slightly, she granted him better access to her lips, pressing her own mouth fully against his.

And at that point, they were both completely lost in each other. One kiss became two, and two slowly became more than either of them could count.

Eric nipped gently at her bottom lip, reveling in the whimper that left her lips as she parted them for him, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth. She tasted just as sweet as he remembered, if not sweeter. He could never truly put a name to her taste, but it reminded him of the sweetest of strawberries, mixed with her own most intoxicating, unique flavor. And, up until a few nights ago, he'd never tasted anything like it.

Now, he was addicted.

Wanting to savor it, Eric ignored Calleigh's silent pleas to speed up; instead, he kept the pace just where he liked it. Soft, slow, passionately languid to the point of being agonizing. He felt Calleigh's hands grasping at his shirt, tugging him even closer to her, the fabric balled tightly in her fists.

And with that, Eric's own hands were on the move. Away from her thighs they slowly moved, pausing to squeeze lightly at her hips, pulling the quietest whimper from her throat.

He was dizzy, but from what he didn't know – lack of oxygen, or an excess of lust, need. So reluctantly he tore his lips away from hers, wasting no time in attaching his lips to her jaw, nipping lightly at the skin there. Calleigh sucked in a shaky breath, her freshly-kissed lips parted slightly. She felt him nip his way along her jaw, slowly trailing kisses further and further still, closing in on the spot he had found just the other night. Her body tensed as she felt his breath upon it.

"Eric, we can't do this again," Calleigh protested, though a half-hearted protest it was. She didn't want to stop. She wanted to feel his hands and lips all over her again; she wanted to be able to lay beside him again, laying her head on his chest as she struggled to catch her breath. She wanted him so, so badly.

But they couldn't. It was why it hadn't happened up until a few nights ago. There were a million reasons why they couldn't do this.

They were co-workers. They were best friends. They were just too different.

But what they wanted remained the same, and even if Calleigh wouldn't vocalize that fact, her body said it for her, not resisting in the slightest as Eric leaned in, stealing another kiss. "Why not?" he asked low, his fingers slipping slowly beneath the fabric of her top, tracing circles over her sides, her soft skin beneath his fingers driving him crazy. His mind was flooded with images from just a few nights before, and he couldn't help kissing her again.

No matter what her mind said, Calleigh still couldn't stop herself from kissing him back, nor could she stop the pout that touched her lips as he pulled away from her. "Because we can't," she said quietly, virtually melting under his touch. It was an ardent cycle; the more he touched her, the more Calleigh squirmed and trembled. And the more she squirmed and trembled, the more he intensified the passionate assault from his fingertips.

His fingers gently traced over the soft swell of her breast, coaxing yet another tremble out of her. She gave a quiet gasp; even through lacy fabric, Eric's touch still left a trail of fire in its wake, and that, combined with the feel of his lips teasing the pulse point of her throat, was almost enough to silence the voice at the back of her mind.

She allowed her own fingers to skim over Eric's short hair, her nails scratching gently at the back of his neck, unconsciously pulling him closer to her before she caught herself. "Eric…" she murmured, realizing too late that it didn't sound at all like a protest. She needed to put an end to this; Eric was getting way too far under her skin.

And she was liking it _way_ too much.

Seeking the willpower she usually kept close at hand when it came to Eric, Calleigh gave a deep sigh, pushing halfheartedly at his shoulders. "Eric," she repeated, steadily this time. Once his eyes met hers, Calleigh held his gaze, though the temptation to look away was strong. Anxiously she nibbled at her lip, but stopped abruptly once she noticed Eric's eyes shift to her lips. Reluctantly she gripped his wrists, slowly removing his hands from under her shirt, ignoring the chill left behind in the absence of his touch. "We can't, Eric," she said again, even though the way she squeezed his hands said otherwise. It was killing her to stop him, but what else could she do?

In Eric's dark eyes, Calleigh could plainly see the pain mixing in with his want for her, and she had to look away, unable to face that. The same question he'd asked before came once more as a challenge to her, in a voice filled with all that same pain-tinged desire. "Why not?"

How could she answer that? Calleigh barely accepted her reasons; there was no way Eric would accept them. He refused to hide behind professionalism the way she did, and he would see all of her reasons for hiding behind that professionalism. He _always_ saw right through her.

Calleigh gave a deep sigh, her teeth nibbling anxiously at her lip. "We just can't, Eric. You know that." Guarding herself, Calleigh lifted her eyes to him once more, forcing herself to push past the pain in his eyes. "I, uh, I should go," she added softly, squeezing his hands once more before releasing them. A forced half-smile touching her lips, she hopped down from the counter, suppressing the tremble that threatened to overtake her as her body inevitably brushed against his.

But she couldn't deny a shiver when Eric's hands latched onto her hips, holding her close. "Don't go."

"Eric…" Calleigh protested, though she couldn't stop the way her heart fluttered for him. She didn't want to go; she never wanted to leave him.

"Don't go," he repeated, his voice steady. One hand left her hip, rising instead to her chin, tilting it gently upward. "I want you to stay." Not giving her a chance to protest, Eric gently lowered his lips to hers, kissing her softly.

Calleigh let out a soft whimper, the bittersweetness of the kiss not lost on her. It was slow and sweet, but the magnitude of Eric's pain was clearly evident, as was his love for her. It tore at Calleigh's heart as she kissed him back, knowing that while they really couldn't do this, she would be absolutely content to let him continue stealing kisses from her, as often as he liked.

But he couldn't. _They_ couldn't.

Eric was kissing her, desperately hoping to change her mind, to persuade her to stay. And Calleigh was kissing him back, knowing she had to leave; knowing that this had to be the last time. Knowing that made it that much harder to break away from him, and when Calleigh finally did break the kiss, she felt the pain, the heartbreak just as physically as she felt it emotionally.

She avoided his eyes, knowing she couldn't handle seeing the hurt in those gorgeous brown orbs. Nibbling at her lip, Calleigh pulled herself together, knowing she needed something beyond simple strength to walk away from him. "I should go," she repeated, more firmly than before, ignoring the pleading way he said her name.

Blindly she reached behind her, pulling her sweater from the counter. "Thank you, though, for washing this," she added, holding the sweater almost protectively against her chest. Honestly, she didn't know how she would ever wear it again. It'd been washed with Eric's laundry; it smelled like his clothes. Wearing it would tear her heart to pieces, as if it wasn't _already_ torn to pieces right now…

Sighing softly, Calleigh reached a hand out, lightly laying it atop Eric's hip. Only then did she finally look up, meeting his confused, heartbroken gaze. "I'm sorry, Eric," she murmured, a lump quickly forming in her throat. She had to get out of there, before she found herself wrapped tightly in his arms again, her face burrowed in his chest. Clearing her throat, Calleigh nodded resolutely, letting her hand fall from Eric's hip. "I, uh, I'll see you at work, then," she finished quietly, holding his gaze for a moment longer even though she knew Eric could see everything she was feeling.

There was nothing harder than watching her walk away from him. Eric had to clench his fists at his sides to keep from reaching out to her. He'd seen the pain in her eyes; he knew this was hurting her as much as it was him. He knew she wanted to be with him; he knew she cared deeply for him.

He knew she was in love with him.

But what could he do? He couldn't make her forget about the reasons she held for why they couldn't be together. He couldn't make her let go of whatever fear that kept her from making that final jump. Time and time again, the only thing he could do was continue to let her go and hope she would find her way back to him. And all he could do was deny that each time hurt more and more.

And so, helplessly he stood there, watching once more as the love of his life strode purposefully out of his kitchen and out of his home, away from him once more. Once more, he was left behind to sweep up the broken shards of his heart. Once more, he was left behind, knowing that just outside his door, Calleigh was nursing a broken heart of her own. Why they kept doing this was beyond him. It only left them both hurt and needing each other even more.

Outside, Calleigh winced as the front door closed sharply behind her, putting a physical barrier between herself and Eric. It was only then, cloaked safely beneath the cover of darkness, that Calleigh let the tears fall from her eyes. Not many, just a couple; just enough to relieve the stinging fullness that had pricked at her eyes for what seemed like forever. Defiantly she wiped those few tears away, holding her head high against the strong temptation to look back. The tears were one thing, but looking back was an even greater weakness, one that she just couldn't afford herself.

Determination set in her features, Calleigh quickly made the painful trek to her car, holding the sweater that now bore the scent of Eric's laundry, and thusly, Eric himself, close to her heart. She ignored the clack of her heels on the ground, for the sound brought nothing to mind but the visual of both hers and Eric's shattered hearts on the ground, trampled beneath those very heels.

Because in essence, that was what she'd done. She'd broken not only Eric's heart, but her own as well.

_Again._

But though it hurt more and more each time, Calleigh always forced herself to silence the anguished cries of her heart with the very same mantra she'd chanted in her mind since the very first time she'd walked away from Eric.

This was for the best.


End file.
